losses (part 1)

We all have losses in our lives. Some are hard. Some are excruciating. None are fun.

Living a life of a missionary in a foreign land we have many losses, mostly in the form of mankind. We make friends, and the Lord moves them on. It does not, however, mean that we are to not make more friends. I once heard a lady say that for her husband and her their “best friends left the mission field 20 years ago”. That is a sad commentary. She went on to say that they have never been really close with any other couple since then, because it was too hard. . . . How sad.

Yes, I feel that way when friends leave.

For some reason they seem to leave in packs. Menda and Sandi left within weeks of each other. Kelly and Lois left within months of each other. Renee and Carie within months of each other. I have been known to go into a six-month hiatus to deal with the losses. To say goodbye in my own way. I guess it is my defense mechanism.

No, no one wants to be hurt when people leave. But, you will never be hurt if you don’t have friends.

Chris said that we all have a much fuller and richer life because of the friendships that we make, even though it is hard when the friends leave. We have a larger base of people that we know . . . all over the world.

We would have never thought of going to Qatar to have Katie if it were not for friends that we made here during our first two years in Nairobi. We would have never had the opportunity to go and spend three weeks in the bush of Alaska if it were not for our time here. We would never have the dream to go visit friends in a closed country if we had kept our distance and not made friends.

We are blessed, even in our losses.

So, you ask why I am writing this?! Two friends just left. Renee left less than two weeks after we returned from Qatar. Carie just left a week ago. I want to walk around to the other side of our building and knock on Renee’s door. I want to call Carie and see when we can go for coffee, or when our library books are due and we can go for the nice long morning drive to the other side of town. I still want to go down to the end of the compound and visit with Kelly . . . she has been gone for TWO years! I still get to see Lois, as she walked me through the halls of a convention center at my first home school conference last May. What fun! Sandi is part of the extended Stoltzfus family, we get to see each other more often than others. Menda and I write through email at least once a week, sometimes more often.

Some friends go and then come again. Pearle left soon after we moved over to the compound. She has been back for a four month stay since. That time was precious to me as she and I got to know each other much better. We are a lot alike, in a lot of ways. We are able to stay in contact too, through text messaging. Just last night she called, it was good to hear her voice.

There are really too many friends to list here and to say “hello and I miss you”. And, there are the friends who are still here. The ones that I walk with as I take Katie for a ride in the stroller in the afternoons. The ones who just stop by to say hello. The ones that we meet to talk about life, and pray for each other’s struggles. There are still friends here, and I am grateful for that.

I hope I do not go into another six-month hiatus this time. I don’t think I will. More than anything because I am so much more conscious of it now.

I am blessed. We are blessed. Our family is blessed. The Lord has truly blessed us with the friendships we have made over the last six years here in Nairobi.